I often reflect on past relationships and look at what went "right" vs. what went "wrong." And something I come back to regularly is that either a guy I dated was someone I wanted but didn't need (i.e. attraction was there but sense of responsibility was absent), or that I probably needed but didn't want (i.e sense of responsibility was there/priorities were in order, but the attraction wasn't as strong).

Which makes me wonder if I will ever "find" (I use that term loosely because I am not actively looking) someone that I am attracted to but who also, to be blunt, has their shit together (and is emotionally available). I haven't been able to find that balance yet.

I've been a lot more stingy lately when it comes to giving certain people "chances" at dating, too. I know certain things that I want, and I know certain things that I don't want. If I see something that I don't think I could get on board with [i.e. if they have small children (I'm just not ready for that)] then I won't even consider a person. And I think: could this be someone I'm missing out on because I'm being too cutthroat? Or is this just me being assertive and straightforward with myself?

Who knows. Right now I'm content with where I am in life. Of course I want a companion, but I don't NEED one.

I don't know what all your criteria for exclusion are, but having kids seems like one that it's good to have clear boundaries about and not be willing to compromise on.
» randomjunk on 2017-02-01 11:25:02

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